Lost and Found: The Neurodivergent Struggle with Belongings
Have you ever lost something you cared about deeply? That special gift from a loved one, or perhaps something as simple yet essential as your car keys? The feeling of panic and frustration can be overwhelming. You turn your room upside down, only to find the item in a place you’d already checked—or worse, a place so illogical you'd never have thought to look there. For many, this is a common annoyance. For those of us who are neurodivergent, this experience is a regular part of life.
I know this all too well. I’ve spent countless hours tearing my home apart, searching for something, only to discover it was in a place I’d previously looked, but not carefully enough. The frustration is immense, and it’s a feeling that many people with conditions like ADHD and NLD can relate to. The tendency to misplace things is a recognized symptom of ADHD, and it stems from several factors.
Why We Lose Things: A Deeper Look
According to an article by Neil Peterson on ADHD and misplacing things, there are at least four key reasons for this common struggle:
Inattention: Our minds are often in a dozen places at once. We put our keys down, but our brains have already moved on to the next task, forgetting the location of the keys just moments later.
Disorganization: Many neurodivergent people are multi-talented, but organization isn't always one of them. Our spaces can become a collection of random objects without a clear system, making it easy for things to disappear into the clutter.
Forgetfulness: We can operate on autopilot, going through the motions without truly being present. This "half-attention" means we aren't fully focused on what we're doing, making it easy to forget where we put an item.
“Milk in the Cupboard Syndrome”: This is when we put something in a completely illogical place—like keys in the dishwasher or, yes, milk in the cupboard. It's a humorous name for a frustrating reality born from inattention and operating on autopilot.
I’ve experienced all of these, from absentmindedly leaving my phone in a different room to misplacing my car keys and having to cancel my plans for the day. That particular incident was infuriating, especially when I found them in a drawer I'd already searched.
This pattern of losing and finding things is just one part of the constant changes and challenges in my life. I'm currently navigating a lot—I was recently in my fourth car accident, and I've also ended a relationship. The combination of these events has left me feeling raw and emotional, but I am reminding myself that I have overcome difficult things before and I will be okay.
Finding Your Way Back: Strategies for Keeping Track
When something is lost, the feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming. But some strategies can help. An article titled “ADHD and Misplacing Things: Lost Stuff, Lost Time,” offers several excellent suggestions:
Designated Spots: Create a specific, easy-to-remember place for important items, such as a magnetic key holder by the door or a small bowl for your wallet and keys. The goal is to make it a habit to put things in the same spot every time.
Systematic Searching: When you lose something, don’t just frantically tear the room apart. Instead, search systematically, moving room by room or space by space. This method saves time and reduces frustration.
Use Technology: Embrace tools designed to help. There are apps like Evernote for keeping track of lists and notes, and you can buy GPS-enabled trackers for your valuables. Alarm-based devices can also help you quickly locate a misplaced item.
Avoid Hiding: Don’t create “unique” hiding spots for your most valuable items. The more creative the spot, the more likely you are to forget it.
Label and Organize: Use color-coded labels to organize documents, school materials, and other items. This creates a visual system that makes it easier to put things back where they belong and find them again.
These suggestions are so helpful. I plan on using them in my own life, and I hope they can help you, too.
On a lighter note, this whole topic reminds me of a story about my favorite possession, a hand puppet named Christmas Koala, or CK for short. I've had her since I was a child, and I’ve taken her everywhere. A few times, I was certain I had lost her—once she fell out of my backpack, and another time, my mom accidentally left her at a candle market. But every time, she was found, and I was so relieved. She’s been with me through so much, and her continued presence in my life is a comforting reminder that even when things seem lost forever, you can often find your way back.
