Conversations with Oscar – Living with NLD Across Borders

This chapter continues my conversation with Oscar, one of the youngest social ambassadors for the NVLD Project. He’s from the UK and has been active in spreading awareness about Nonverbal Learning Disability (NLD) through blogging, fundraising, and advocacy. Ambassadors like us don’t conduct research directly, but we do share our stories, raise awareness, and build community for individuals and families affected by NLD.

I invited Oscar to talk not only about his experiences but also about what it means to live with NLD in daily life. Our conversation revealed both challenges and moments of growth that will resonate with many.

Navigating the World—Literally

Oscar began by describing how stressful travel can be:

“Finding my way around is a massive challenge. Even once I get to my gate, I can’t fully relax. On the plane, I’m still tense. It’s not until I arrive at my hotel that I finally feel like I can breathe. That’s just how it is for me.”

I told him I could relate. Traveling alone for the first time made me nervous, too. When I studied abroad in Norway, I only began to feel settled once I was safely at my destination.

The Weight of NLD

I asked Oscar whether NLD ever feels like a burden. He paused before answering:

“I wouldn’t say it’s always heavy. But when someone explains something and I know I’ll have to ask for clarification, that’s when it hits me. I feel embarrassed—like, why don’t I get this? That’s when it feels like a weight.”

I shared how I feel the same frustration when managing finances. Numbers don’t always add up, and I often have to ask family members to walk me through what I’m missing. Like Oscar, I sometimes need to clarify things again and again.

Finding Encouragement

When I asked Oscar what advice he would give others with NLD or a learning challenge, he shared something his therapist once told him:

“He used to joke with me: ‘Is the ground going to swallow you up? Is the world ending?’ Of course not. It’s a reminder that small mistakes don’t define you. They feel big in the moment, but they’re not who you are.”

Oscar admitted he struggles with self-criticism but tries to focus on what’s going well. “Whenever I force myself to list positives,” he said, “there are always more than the negatives.”

I agreed. It’s not easy, especially when the negatives feel overwhelming. But choosing to focus on the positives really does make a difference.

The Value of Diagnosis

For those who suspect they may have a learning challenge, Oscar was clear:

“If you think you might have one, try to get diagnosed. I know it sounds scary, but it can only help you. If I hadn’t accepted the help my school offered after my diagnosis, I don’t know if my math skills would have progressed the way they did.”

A diagnosis doesn’t define you—it equips you to better understand yourself and ask for the right support.

Moments of Pride

When I asked Oscar what he was most proud of, two achievements stood out.

The first was his final major project in college:

“I studied film and TV, and for my final project, I created a film about NVLD. I even included the doctor who diagnosed me. The last scene shows the two of us together—that was my vision, and I’m proud I stuck with it.”

The second was something many people take for granted: moving out.

“I did it during the pandemic, and with NVLD, that was no small feat. Now, going home feels strange because I’ve settled so well on my own.”

I shared my own accomplishment of graduating from UC Berkeley—the first woman in my family to earn a college degree. Doing it while living with NLD made the achievement even more meaningful.

Facing Judgment

We also spoke about how NLD is often misunderstood. Because it’s not included in the DSM, some people question whether it’s even “real.”

Oscar recounted how someone once left a dismissive comment on his film:

“‘It’s not a real diagnosis,’ they wrote. It felt like a punch to the stomach. But I replied with a link to the NVLD Project. They never responded, but maybe it made them think twice.”

We agreed that one of the challenges of NLD is its invisibility. To outsiders, we may look “typical.” Unless someone sees us struggle with math, directions, or spatial awareness, they may not notice. That invisibility can make acceptance harder—but also makes raising awareness all the more important.

Wrapping Up

Our conversation ended with gratitude. I thanked Oscar for sharing his story, and he thanked me for inviting him.

Oscar’s perspective highlights what many of us with NLD know well: that our struggles are real, but so are our strengths. His story reminds us that independence, creativity, and resilience are possible—even when the world doesn’t fully understand.

At the end of the interview, I reminded listeners (and now readers):

You can find more resources and stories at livingwithnld.com, as well as on the Living with NLD Facebook and Instagram pages. If you know someone with NLD who would like to share their story, please reach out at livingwithNLD@gmail.com.

And here’s a small practice for you: try journaling about your own gifts and differences. Write about how you might make a difficult part of your life a little easier. Awareness starts with reflection.

Would you like me to condense this further into a shorter narrative chapter (like a memoir style), or keep it as a full dialogue-based chapter with conversational flow (like a transcript polished for a book)?