Navigating Life's Invisible Challenges
Welcome to a journey into the world of invisible learning challenges, where we explore the struggles and victories of those with Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD) and other similar conditions. Our goal is to foster understanding and help individuals with these challenges—and those who support them—thrive.
A nonprofit that provides invaluable research for this work is the NVLD Project, a New York-based organization dedicated to getting NVLD recognized in the DSM. Their website offers a wealth of resources for those with NVLD, and their blog is an excellent source of information.
The topic of meltdowns is a crucial one. While often misunderstood as tantrums, meltdowns are in fact a reaction to feelings of intense overwhelm. They are not manipulative behaviors, and their only purpose is to communicate frustration and help a neurodivergent person cope with an unbearable situation. Once a meltdown begins, it’s often impossible to stop and can manifest in various ways, from crying and sobbing to hitting and self-harm. They are a way for a neurodivergent person to release pent-up frustration and process emotions that may be difficult to express during calmer times.
The struggles that lead to meltdowns can come from many directions. For me, they often stem from navigating finances and taxes, something I am working to become more independent with. Other areas of difficulty include social situations, academics, professional life, driving, and abstract concepts. Despite these challenges, it’s important to stay determined and keep working to improve, so these areas become less difficult to manage.
Dealing with a meltdown requires healthy coping mechanisms. For me, physical activity is a release. I’ll often go for a run and imagine a virtual punching bag, releasing all my pent-up energy and frustration in a safe, healthy way. This helps me get a handle on my emotions without lashing out at people who are trying to help.
The way others react to a meltdown can make all the difference. When someone is having a meltdown, the best thing to do is not to judge them. Give them space and time to recover. Create a safe, quiet environment by reducing loud sounds or bright lights. Calmly ask them if they need help, but be prepared to give them more time to respond than you might expect.
The presence of well-intentioned but overly supportive people can also be a struggle. It’s hard when you’re trying to become more independent, and others don’t know when to step back and let you help yourself. It can also be a challenge to ask for space without the other person taking it personally.
Another common struggle for many in the neurodivergent community is masking—hiding their true selves to fit in. I know this from personal experience. In college, I tried to hide my neurodivergence and chronic migraines. But as an adult, I've realized that masking only hurts you in the long run. It prevents you from being your authentic self and can take a serious toll on your well-being. By embracing your authentic self, you can build self-trust and surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are.
Even with a strong support system, it's not always easy. Sometimes, it can be draining to explain your feelings to others when you don't even fully understand them yourself. That’s why it’s so important to find ways to help yourself. Sometimes the best help you can get is your own.
I hope this exploration of meltdowns and masking has provided you with some valuable insights. Whether you are dealing with your own challenges or supporting a loved one, remember the importance of patience, understanding, and self-compassion.
Remember to practice journaling about your own gifts and differences, and find ways to make once-difficult things become a little easier for you.
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